I ask, “What is happening to her? She can run, play and act normal most of the time but she is becoming disoriented when she lies still. It is like she is fearful.”
The reply is, “They believe something is destroying her immune system but they don’t know what.”
Friday night and Saturday night are terrible. She is up every four hours and I’m afraid to give her anymore pain medicine than I am already. I have been sleeping on the couch near her for a week now. My presence doesn’t seem to matter.
During the weekend I deliberately watch her walk up and down the stairs and noticed she is hitting the wall. At dinner time I tried to give her a scrap off of my plate to give her some enjoyment. She took it and acted like she didn’t have it and was looking for it.
I lifted her upper lip and found the piece of meat stuck between her lip on her left side and her upper gum. I could see she had no feeling on the upper left side of her mouth. She could not feel it was there in her mouth. Oh God, she is falling apart and we don’t know what to do for her. I feel so helpless.
After watching her throughout the weekend I decided to put her down. She is developing more and more problems and only getting worse. I love her too much to see her suffer like this.
On Monday morning, we walk around Dorr’s pond on our regular routine. The way she walks around the pond you would never know she is not feeling well. When the vet’s office opens at eight I make an appointment to put her down at 3:00.
We will have our regular walk around the pond once more before the appointment. The rest of the day is very trying for me. It is an internal conflict between my wanting her to survive and knowing she really isn’t going to get better.
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